Denial

I panic when big things hit. However, what I think is a big thing differs from what someone else thinks is big. My background, personality, profession, character, relationships... all feed into what I see as a big thing. What is big to me isn’t what is big to a CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

In John12:20-36, there were Greeks present that came to worship at the Passover. If they were doing so, so they were believers, converts to Judaism. There was a courtyard at the temple for the Gentiles. I’m thinking that Jesus and the disciples must have been there that day. These Greeks approached Phillip about seeing Jesus, so there was clearly a desire to meet Him.

There was a crowd there (verse 29), so some may think that they could not have physically gotten to Him.  But Philip was a disciple, so he would have been close to Jesus, and they spoke with Philip. I think the Greeks must have been fairly close as well. But they felt that they had to ask permission to see Him.

Jesus was a Jew whose work was done almost entirely in Judea with the Jews. If He was considered a rabbi, the Greeks may not have felt that they were supposed to approach Him. Maybe they had been kept from meeting other rabbis. Regardless, they themselves felt the need to request it through a disciple. Maybe this was common practice among other rabbis and their disciples.

Clearly Philip wasn’t comfortable enough to answer the request himself. I can imagine the conversation with Andrew: “These Greek Gentiles want to see Jesus. Is this OK?” Then they went to Jesus together. Were they afraid of being rebuffed by Jesus? Or was it just that Jesus had entered the city triumphantly? He entered as a king. In their minds, He was now to be the conquering King of the Jews. If this was His position, the disciples may have thought of themselves as His “lieutenants.” The Greeks would have witnessed the entry of Jesus, so they probably thought of Jesus as being pretty important. Jesus had ministered to non-Jews and Pagans before, so I wonder if in Jesus they saw someone different than they saw in other Jewish kings, like this one could actually be for all nations. He was to be a blessing to all nations, if He was the fulfillment of the promise to Abraham millennia earlier.

Bottom line: Jesus was lifted up already. He was already drawing all people to Himself.

It was Passover, when the atoning lamb was to be sacrificed. Jesus had already been identified by John as the “Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.” The time of the sacrifice prophesied in Daniel had come as well (Daniel 9:20-27). He was to be a “light to the Gentiles” (Isaiah 49:6), and here were Gentiles coming to Him. It all added up. The time had come for the most important event in human history.

Jesus compares Himself to a kernel of wheat. He was to be the one to die, the light to be cut off in the middle of the week. A live kernel plants no wheat, while a dead one falls to the ground and sprouts. It is the way of seeds.

When Jesus was cut down, then sprouted up (at the resurrection), the Message of salvation in Him was complete. But it took His death to accomplish it. And the Message that resided with the Jews exploded to all parts of the Gentile world, fulfilling the covenant with Abraham to be a blessing to all nations.

Jesus was to die. The Gentiles wanted to see Him. It was a living, teachable moment for everyone there of what would be the result of His ministry.

In verses 25-26 Jesus teaches that His followers are not to be to attached to life on earth. What the world teaches us to desire is at odds with Kingdom values. It is at odds with what Jesus teaches disciples to value. His value is servant-hood. His value is self-sacrifice, even unto death. If we embrace His value, there He is with us, and the Father—God of the Universe—will personally honor us!

Jesus was about to suffer and die for all humanity. This troubled Him. I don’t fully subscribe to the concept of suffering and death not being what troubled Him. I was always taught that it was the bearing of sin and the potential abandonment of the Father that troubled Him. I believe this bothered Him the most, but to come from such a position of heavenly authority to earth to take on fallen human flesh and suffer and die like the lowest dregs of humanity would not seem to be natural to Him. I think the whole idea troubled Him.

The crowd would have a hard time accepting it as well. They just heard a voice saying that He would be glorified. Their understanding of the Christ was that He would be a forever Messiah. Their readings of the prophets would lead them to believe this to be true, and it didn’t mesh with the idea of a dying Messiah. Such a truth would appear to them as failure.

I think that Jesus’ mindset vs. the crowd’s is very relevant in my world today. Jesus way to being exalted was to die. Our way is to step up and gain power. His way was of ultimate humiliation: throne of heaven to death on a Roman crucifix of shame and pain. Our way is to gain competitive edge, to go the opposite way of Jesus.

It is counterintuitive for me to embrace Jesus’ value here. I am in denial. I deny the power sin has. I deny that I cannot escape its grip over me. I deny the need for help and to have conversation with other caring people about my struggles. I deny the feelings of distance and depression I have at times with others—sometimes even with the church (even with God’s people, not simply the organization). I deny that I desperately need an infusion of passion in my life, that I need to pray today because I’ve forgotten to do it or I’ve put it off.

I deny a lot because I’m like any other human being. I want to save face. I don’t want people to see what’s really going on.

Jesus calls me to die to all of that. Die to my feelings and fears. Die to myself and face reality: Jesus embraced humiliation and death... He calls me to do the same, and in doing so find that life springs up in me like the wheat springing up from a dead seed.

Do you feel like you’re walking in the dark? In the shadow-lands? Or in the light? Why? How can you walk toward light today?